What helps my shutdowns/meltdowns

The other day, my father asked me what he could do for me during an autistic meltdown/shutdown after one difficult night, and so I drafted this for him.

Firstly, what is a meltdown and a shutdown?

A shutdown is withdrawal from the world, usually becoming unresponsive to stimuli.

A meltdown is an intense emotional release that is uncontrolled.

These are my signs of one upcoming, although they may be different from yours.

Signs: difficulty masking, lack of eye contact, sudden emotional outburst, having more difficulty dealing with change and things like bright lights or loud noises, inability to speak (verbal shutdown), skin twitching, convulsing or shaking/vibrating, gasping for air (air hunger), staring into space, and having to be snapped out of it. These are some of the signs I get before a shutdown or meltdown, but sometimes it's different, or these things don't happen, so this is just a guidebook, not a rulebook.

Now here's the important part, which is what to do now. This is different for everyone, but here's what helps me:

If in a loud environment, go somewhere quiet

If in a bright environment, go somewhere dimmer or turn off the lights

use nonverbal communications (ask me yes or no questions, blink once for yes and twice for no). Sometimes this isn't possible, or I can't even respond in that way, and then it's best to just wait for the experience to pass before resuming communication

Don't touch me without permission, and tell me what you're going to do before you do it, so I know

tell me that I'm safe and make me feel that way because this is a really scary experience

Whisper if you want to talk to me

Sometimes, for me, being told a story, being read a book, or listening to my favorite music helps me to calm down, so usually my mum will attempt that

I always watch Frozen 2 after a meltdown or shutdown to help me recuperate

some notes:

When I'm having a shutdown or meltdown, I may gasp for air and have funky breathing. This is air hunger and isn't worrisome

I may pop my jaw, knuckles, bones, and/ or rub and pinch my skin. While this is not encouraged behavior, it is okay in small quantities

That's the end! I hope this was at least somewhat helpful to both you and my father.